Your wedding ceremony: What really happens (and what to remember)
Your wedding ceremony is at the heart of your day. It may only last 20–30 minutes, but it’s the moment where everything becomes real.
Many couples ask the same questions: Who stands where? When do I hand over my bouquet? What actually happens after the kiss?
This guide is here to give you peace of mind.
Before the Ceremony
A few things to remember before you even step onto the aisle:
Bouquet check: Receive your bouquet in time, and blot the stems with a tissue so no water stains your dress.
Bouquet position: Hold it right-side forward, low and relaxed at your belly button (not up under your chin).
Rings: Confirm with the best man or ring bearer that the rings are safe and easily accessible.
Vows: If you’re reading personal vows, decide who will hand them to you — your maid of honour, best man, or coordinator. Keep them neatly printed (not on a phone screen).
Music playlist: Share a clear playlist with your DJ and coordinator for each important element — processional, register signing, recessional. Your wedding coordinator will signal (with a thumbs up) when it’s time for each track to start.
The Processional: Who walks in and when
The traditional order is:
Officiant (already at the front).
Groom and groomsmen (together or from the side).
Bridesmaids.
Maid of Honour.
Ring bearer and/or flower girl.
The bride with her chosen escort (father, both parents, solo, whatever you decide).
Tip: Walk slower than feels natural. It feels long to you, but it looks perfect in photos.
During the Ceremony: Small but important details
Bouquet handover: Hand your bouquet to your maid of honour once you’re at the altar.
Dress & train check: Bridesmaids should discreetly fix your train.
Bridal party seating: Your bridal party can either stand next to you or sit in the front row once the processional ends — discuss what feels most comfortable (and best for photos).
Standing positions: Traditionally, the bride stands on the left and the groom on the right, but it’s your choice.
Eye contact: Look at each other, not the officiant. It makes the moment more meaningful and your photos more emotional.
The Kiss
Officiant step-aside: Ask your officiant to step out of frame before announcing the kiss.
Hold the moment: Don’t rush because a two-second pause means your photographer can get “the shot.”
Signing the Register
This is where ceremonies vary:
Signing in front of guests: While you sign, your photographer can capture a few intimate shots. Guests can proceed outside to form the confetti line.
Signing privately: Guests are usually directed out of the ceremony space while you sign, so they can get ready with confetti.
Either way, it’s best to have music playing in the background.
Walking Out as a Married Couple (The Recessional)
Once you’ve done with the formalities, it’s time for the recessional — your official exit from the ceremony space. This is your very first walk as a married couple, and it’s always one of the most joy-filled moments of the day. Guests clap, cheer, the music shifts into something upbeat, and suddenly, the nerves of the morning are replaced with celebration.
The Traditional way: Traditionally (especially in churches overseas), the recessional order looked like this:
- The couple
- Maid of Honour and Best Man
- Bridesmaids and groomsmen in pairs
- Parents of the couple
- The officiant
- Guests
This “mini procession in reverse” created a sense of formality, almost like closing the ceremony with the same structure it began with.
The Modern way: At most South African weddings today, things are much simpler:
- Guests walk out to form the confetti line, whereafter the bridal couple walks out.
- This modern approach keeps the focus on you as a couple and creates a seamless flow straight into the confetti toss.
Tip: Pause at the doors or archway for one last kiss or wave back — photographers love capturing that just-married glow.
The Confetti Toss
With guests already lined up outside, this moment happens naturally after your recessional. Whether you’ve chosen petals, bubbles, or eco-friendly options, it’s the perfect transition between your ceremony and the celebrations that follow.
Dress Code Details for Guests (Because No One Tells Them)
Suits & blazers:
Two-button jacket → top button only.
Three-button jacket → middle only.
Bottom button → never.
Shoes & grass: If you’re having an outdoor ceremony, hint to guests about grass-friendly footwear.
Officiant attire: A gentle reminder that your officiant will be in many of your photos. Ask them to dress appropriately for the tone of your wedding.
Be present in the moment
Even if something goes a little “off script,” it becomes part of your story. That’s the beauty of it.
FINAL THOUGHT
Take your time, ask the right questions, and pay attention to how you feel. Your venue sets the stage for everything else, so make sure it feels right for you.
