The top stressors of planning a wedding and how to move through them with grace.
You’ve heard it before – planning a wedding is one of the most exciting times in one’s life. Hmm… is it though?
Being in the wedding industry for more than 10 years we have seen firsthand the rollercoaster of emotions that come with orchestrating your perfect day. We ran a survey and did some Google deep diving to determine what stresses engaged couples out the most. Since we do not want to leave you feeling hopeless, we have included an easy-to-navigate mindfulness tip to perk up your planning.
STRESSOR NO 1 – BUDGET CONSTRAINTS
Budgeting for a wedding can be a SIGNIFICANT source of stress. Balancing your dream wedding with financial realities often feels daunting and sometimes it’s downright impossible. Yes, Pinterest and the Kardashians are partly to blame for creating unrealistically high standards in our middle-class minds, but we can’t unsee what has been seen. And now we want pretty things.
So, how do we deal with budget constraints? Realistically we can do one of two things, make/get/earn more money to increase our budget OR lower our expectations.
Our solution would be to approach your budget with a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. Identify what aspects of your wedding are most important to you and allocate your budget accordingly. Whether it’s the venue, photography, or catering, prioritising what matters most allows you to focus your resources on what will make your day special.
Embrace gratitude for what you can afford rather than focusing on what you can’t. Practicing gratitude has been shown to increase overall happiness and reduce stress.
STRESSOR NO 2 – FAMILY DYNAMICS
Managing family expectations and dynamics can add an extra layer of stress. Everyone has an opinion, and sometimes they can be overwhelming or conflicting. This stressor seems more prevalent when one or both sets of parents contribute financially. We know your family probably has the best intentions for doing what they do but you know what they say about good intentions…
Weddings tend to bring up unhealed wounds, traumas and hurts. Emotions, if left unchecked, could run high and could end catastrophically.
We have a few solutions that could help. The first one is not always easy to hear – aim to have expectation-free relationships. Basically, expect people to be people. Sometimes people do the right thing and sometimes they mess up. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.
This doesn’t mean that you are now the proverbial doormat. Establish clear boundaries and communicate openly with your loved ones so that they know what behaviour you do not find acceptable. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without placing blame, which can help reduce conflict. For example, “I feel overwhelmed when there are too many opinions.” Keep the focus on YOUR feelings and needs rather than criticising others. This approach helps to maintain a positive and constructive dialogue. For example, “I need some time to think about this,” or “I appreciate your input, but we’ve decided to go in a different direction.”
Also, regularly practice mindfulness meditation and breathing exercises to stay calm and present during family discussions.
STRESSOR NO 3 – THE OVERWHELMING TO-DO LIST
One of the first things couples face is the seemingly endless to-do list. From choosing vendors to deciding on the guest list, the sheer volume of tasks can feel overwhelming.
We have three tips to help conquer the to do list:
Prioritize Tasks: Use the Eisenhower Matrix to prioritize tasks by urgency and importance. Focus on what’s important and urgent first, and delegate or postpone less critical tasks.
Time Blocking: Allocate specific time blocks for wedding planning activities. This technique, helps in managing time efficiently and reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Delegate: Business leaders often delegate tasks to their teams. Similarly, brides can delegate tasks to friends, family, or hire a wedding planner to manage some aspects of the planning process.
Practice mindful breathing exercises—take deep breaths, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly. This can help centre your thoughts and reduce anxiety. Remember, it’s okay to delegate tasks to trusted friends or family members.
STRESSOR NO 4 – DECISION FATIGUE
The multitude of decisions that need to be made can lead to decision fatigue, making it hard to think clearly and enjoy the process.
Our solution – Implement the “Two-Minute Rule” for quick decisions: if a decision can be made in two minutes or less, make it immediately to reduce mental clutter. For bigger decisions, use visualization techniques. Picture the outcome of each option and see which one aligns more with your vision and values. This practice helps clarify your thoughts and reduces indecision.
STRESSOR NO 5 – PERFECTIONISM
The desire for everything to be perfect can create immense pressure and take away from the joy of the process.
Try to embrace the concept of “good enough.” Acknowledge that perfection is an illusion and that imperfections can make your day unique and memorable. Engage in mindfulness practices like yoga or journaling to keep perspective and stay grounded. Celebrate each completed task, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself throughout the journey.
Remember, your wedding day is a celebration of love and commitment. By addressing stress points mindfully, you can ensure that your journey to the altar is as beautiful and serene as the day itself.
